A subject I’ve touched on but never really got into was anxiety and depression. It’s a common thing in the human population and I happen to be part of the percentage that has them. Mine is a bit different.
I don’t take medication to feel better, mainly because my level of both is rather low compared to others, but its there. It’s been there all my life but I never knew or said anything because I thought that’s just how I am, that it’s normal and I’m just being difficult. As I got older it did get worse, but I also learned about mental illnesses which helped me figure out how to cope. These days I’m much better than I ever was.
When I’m stressed is usually when it comes out the most, but there are days where I wake up and I know it just kind of creeps in. In summary I don’t want to move or do anything. My body is weak, and I stay in bed playing with my phone or sleeping for abnormal periods of time. I lose interest in doing anything I usually would or listening to music I’d enjoy. Recently Baxter joined me in one of those days, it helps to have him around. Some days I stay that way, other days I’m able to get up and shake it off for a little while, certain people help that. That’s more of the depression side. My anxiety side makes my mind race, I make up situations in my head that won’t happen, or I misread something. In attacks I can feel my heart race and my body heat up. I’ll want to be by myself in social situations and just some awful thoughts would come in.
This is all my experience, every person with mental illness(es) have their own experience and their own way to deal with it. What people should do is talk about it, but mental illness isn’t an easy thing to talk about. Sometimes we think we’re just the issue, or sometimes loved ones blame themselves for something they can’t fix. No one is to blame.
I’m not sure why I decided my first post after day 365 would be about this, but maybe it’s because it’s a part of me, and I wanted you guys to understand a bit more. More posts will come, some I might mention bad days, or maybe you’ll just see my happy days, but I need everyone to know what’s part of me, and that none of you are alone. Mental illness or not.