Today I took my mom to the hospital for a CT scan, nothing major, just so we can verify nothing is going on in her head.
The language barrier is hard, I can translate some things for her, but I’m not fluent and when we can’t understand each other or she doesn’t understand something I get irritated. I don’t mean to be, but my anxiety goes up, and she and I don’t have the best relationship. I just kept telling myself that this experience is worse on her than it is on me. She’s having to come back constantly, spending money, being poked & prodded by people speaking a language she can’t understand; worried about being sicker than she already is, having to watch her blood pressure, diabetes, and anything else that might be wrong if the doctors find something new. The last thing she needs is her daughter being upset at her for something she didn’t ask for.
I’m well aware of all of this, and I’m working on it, it just takes time. I’m still very grateful for everything – My Health, my parents, the things I have, the people who love me. I’m grateful for everything, I’m tying to show my mom that especially now that lunar New year is around the corner. For us, lunar New year is a chance for a good start, to leave all bad things in the past and pray for a better; happier new year. I’ve already started trying to have a better year and improve myself, but this is a chance in my culture to restart anew, to really start fresh.
The rest of the day I kinda relaxed, I started trying to clean this old rotary phone I bought at San Antonio, it’s a work in progress. Here are it’s guts, and some pictures of Baxter of course because he’s my baby.
Pictures and Blog: 1/26/17