Day 133

Today I was a real homebody, I didn’t do much of anything, but yet I had bad moments today. (I just remembered as I was typing this up, sorry “What’s your face” that I didn’t tell you!)

So first I took Baxter to the dog park to try and get him to exercise and be social. However, he was never off the leash because he wouldn’t calm down or behave, so in return I got some dirty and/or questionable looks from people around me. I legit got upset and started to cry while on the phone with my friend, because it hurts me to see people judge my dog because he looks like/is related to a breed that has a negative stigma. I’m trying to help him and enjoy our time together, instead I got judgemental people scolding their dogs for getting close to mine. Not everyone was like that, some actually apologized if other dogs came by excitedly, but Baxter and I eventually left. It just hurts to have people judge.

Mom and I got into an argument because she didn’t like how I talk to her. I get where she’s coming from, and I don’t like how I act either, but growing up with her she made me this way. It’s conflicting because I love her, and I know she loves me, but our relationship is below average and you can’t just restart a bad relationship and change how you interact. It’s just not something you can turn off and turn on again. Of course I got upset over it, but it’s passed now.

Rest of the day I relaxed and did nothing, so it balanced out. Sometimes it’s nice to have a day or a few hours to yourself, before reality hits again.

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