I had no plans for July 4th. No party to go to. No people to meet. It was work then go home. And guess what, I actually didn’t mind it, I wanted to embrace it.
Sure it would’ve been nice to have a group gathering tonight to light the fireworks and have some fun, but lately I’ve been trying to do things on my own, as in practicing being alone. After work I bought a lot of sparklers and a standard tube that shoots fireworks into the sky. Guys, fireworks are expensive.
Anyways, my first two fireworks were lit for a close friend of mine, he’s been going through some stuff and I wanted him to know that I was thinking about him. After those, I just kept lighting them for myself. One for each sad thought, each old memory, each day I felt lonely or inadequate, each moment I wasted, each person who was in my life, each emotion I had this year and the years before. Then, I lit them for others; I lit them for you. For the times you feel unloved, for the times you feel unimportant, for the times you feel like you’ll never become the person you want to be. For each time you wake and wish you didn’t, for each time you remember something that makes you both happy and sad, and for each time to lose someone or something so important to you that you don’t think you can go on. I didn’t literally light an entire bag of sparklers (I actually have a few left) but with each sparkler I lit, I wanted it to mean something. I wanted to send some thoughts to all of you. I wanted you all to know that sometimes it’s okay to be alone, because in reality you are never just alone.
There’s always going to be someone there for you. A friend, a stranger, family, your pet, your teachers, the cashier you see everyday, the man who offers water for some change on the side of the road and gives a sincere “Bless you,” the librarian who saves you a new book because they know you’d enjoy it, the child who stops you just to tell you they like your shoes…. There’s always going to be someone out there when you’re feeling lonely. When you’re by yourself, even if you feel a little lonely, don’t think it’s because you’re alone.
Learn to like being alone, listening to music, or just watching a show you’ve been meaning to catch up on. Being alone is not a bad thing, it can actually be a very beautiful thing, learn to embrace it along with embracing yourself. Have fun in the moments you have peace and quiet, because sometimes the world is just a little too loud.
Cheers, to being alone.